Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Happy Life - 3 Ways to Wreck Your Chances

To be happier - that's what we all want. The problem is you can be your own worst enemy.

Negative attitudes can wreck your chances of being happy. You want to be happy, but you're unlikely to achieve real happiness if you fall foul of these 3 states of mind:

1. Anticipated Dismay

Why look for trouble? It's bad enough when life throws a spanner in the works without you anticpating trouble ahead. Why spend your time worrying about what might happen? Things often turn out better than you anticipated, so expect the best. And if the worst does happen you can cross that proverbial bridge and deal with it then.

What can you do?

If you have a tendency to believe things won't work out well, keep a record of your prediction. Check your Anticipated versus Actual outcome and see how often you were wrong.

One thought to hold on to is that things have a way of turning out for the best. It may not seem like it when you're in the middle of a situation, but once the dust has settled very often you can look back and realise it worked out better than anticipated and could even have been a "blessing in disguise".

2. Relative Depression

This is the gap between what you want and what you have. Worrying about the difference between these two states can result in a feeling of underachievement.

Why stress yourself by worrying about what you haven't got? Focus on the good things you already have.

What can you do?

Get a plan of action to get what you want. Stay positive and focused. Work steadily towards your goal and you'll stand a good chance of getting it.

Remember that anything is possible so don't limit your dreams, but worrying about what you haven't got right now, isn't going to bet it for you - only positive action towards your goal will.

3. Negative Comparisons

Comparing your life with others - why do it? They are not you. You are not them.

Just because some people live a certain way or have certain things doesn't mean you have to. What's the point of feeling bad because someone has a bigger house, your neighbor's car is newer than yours and your friend earns more money than you? At least you have a roof over your head, your car goes and you have a job.

And what does all this comparing get you anyway? It just leaves you feeling a failure - which is never a good way to feel about yourself.

Remember, there is no rule written in stone that we all have to live the same way or have the same things.

What can you do?

Forget trying to "keep up with the Joneses". Don't follow the herd - be individual. Be yourself. Follow your own path and set your own goals.

By avoiding these 3 negative attitudes you'll stand a much better chance of achieving a happy life.

Real happiness - it can be yours.

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