Monday, September 7, 2009

Through Any Obstacle - Self Help Tips

If there were no obstacles, I could accomplish anything. I'd just get up, do the things I needed to do and "viola!" one day my goal will be achieved. Unfortunately, the real world doesn't work like that. No path to success is smooth or easy; otherwise everyone would do it. Life throws obstacles in our way and the daily grind gets us down so that we have to continually motivate ourselves.

But what if you had a motivation that was so powerful, so ironclad, so inspiring to you that no obstacle couldn't be overcome or worked around? What could you accomplish then?

Oh, we think we have strong motivators. We think we're motivated by the benefits we're expecting from the actions that we take. These benefits might be more money, more time, the finer things in life, but these aren't the real, true, and strong reasons "why" we are going to get up and fight the good fight every day.

What is the reason why? I can't tell you because everyone's why is different. And sometimes it's hidden deep beneath consumer-cravings and societal pressure. So here's a no-fail, simple process to find your personally motivating why.

Steve Siebold, author of 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class tells us that champions are driven by emotional motivators, not logical reasons or benefits. We're used to thinking of the benefits to our actions as enough motivation. But these are logic-based. Your inescapable "why" has to be an emotion behind your actions.

Here is the simple statement you need to complete to find your personally motivating why:

"I want to _____________, so that ________________ because _______________"

It's deceptively simple, but for the most powerful result, you will need to dig deep into your feelings and emotions.

Let's walk through the process. Start with a benefit that appeals to you. This is what gets you started. That goes in the first blank. For example, "network more to get more clients."

Your sentence now reads, "I want to network more to get more clients, so that ..." What? What is the purpose of having more clients? You will have more money, experience more stability, grow the business? Let's choose, "I can have more money."

Because why? What does the money do for you? What do you want from it? Perhaps you want to retire early. Now, our statement is "I want to get more clients so that I can have more money, because I want to retire early."

Are you done? Is that a strong enough motivating statement? No it's not because this is a logical statement, there is no emotion tied to it. If the "because" doesn't make your throat tighten, or your heart beat faster, or make your eyes tear up, this motivating statement will not work

If the "because" is not emotionally compelling to you, keep going. Repeat the "so that" and "because" statements until you have an absolutely ironclad, emotion-laden statement. You can repeat them in pairs or separately.

I want to get more clients so that I can have more money, because I want to retire early, so that I can travel the country with my wife because she's never traveled and because I love her and want her to experience the wonders of America by my side.

Which part of that statement would make you get up early every Tuesday for your leads club meeting? More clients? Or traveling the country with your wife?

Here's another example:

I want to expand my networking contacts so that I have a safety net because I'm concerned about layoffs so that I don't have to worry about finding another job because my children see the job losses on the news and ask me if I could lose my job because I don't want them to feel fear and because I want them to feel proud and confident that Mommy has lots of friends who would help her find a better job really fast.

The final statement must be a positive, love-based statement. Steve Siebold emphasizes that great people evolve from fear-based to love-based motivation. If your last "because" is fear-based, then you need to keep going until the last statement is full of love and gratitude. Fear will sap away your strength and reduce your enjoyment. You want to move "toward" something positive, not "away" from something negative. Your why must be positive-emotionally motivating if you want to achieve great results and break through any obstacles.

Follow the "I want to/so that/because" formula. Write it down, post it, and review it when you feel tired, or discouraged, or lack motivation. Your love-filled, emotional statement will give you strength and the ability to continue on toward your goal.

Beth Bridges is the Membership Director of the Clovis Chamber of Commerce in California. She has helped thousands of people get connected through hundreds of networking events with the Chamber and other organizations. For tips, tricks, and networking strategies, visit For more motivation and personal development training, access thousands of hours of top authors, speakers, and writers (including Steve Siebold) at

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